Asking Eric: I’m past 60 and my biological clock is ticking. What’s my next step?

Dear Eric Is it normal for an unmarried man over to want a baby Related Articles Asking Eric Why did nobody stop the high-strung sister from stealing the valuables Asking Eric I was demoted and I don t know how to deal with the whispers Asking Eric I signed a prenup and now I m resenting this situation Asking Eric I think their wedding plan is disrespectful to my mother Asking Eric The mother was flustered by a seemingly simple question Where should he look for a marriage-minded young woman willing to accept the age difference How should he deal with the social stigma against May-December relationships Ticking Biological Clock Dear Clock Anyone who is thinking about becoming a parent would be wise to ask themselves what s at the root of that desire how a child can fit into their life and lifestyle what skills and traits they have that would benefit a child and what skills they can learn to help them be a better parent In short they should go into it with eyes as wide open as viable If you haven t already start by asking yourself those questions and see what comes up Wanting to be a positive force in a child s life and to feel the unique love that comes from being a parent is quite natural if it wasn t the species would be in greater peril than it already is Inspecting your feelings will also help you to be a better prospective partner and prepare you for conversations with revealed partner about being an older parent and the stigma of May-December relationships Be honest on dates and dating sites about what your hopes are and why The questions might also lead you to another answer perhaps you want to be a positive presence for a child in another way like volunteering fostering or engaging more with relatives and friends and their children Try to be creative in your thinking Every parent will tell you that creativity is key anyway Maybe you don t veritably want a baby and the a m feedings that come along with a baby Maybe what you re really yearning for is family There are so a large number of different techniques to create and grow a family Dear Eric I have a different suggestion for Ready to Help the grandparent who wants to visit the grandchildren and is unhappy that the children s other grandmother now apparently resides in the guestroom Surely the daughter and her mother-in-law must have undergone several trauma to get to this current housing arrangement It seems cruel to ask the mother-in-law to leave so the other grandparents can visit Perhaps a workable idea would be for the letter-writer to ask the daughter about visiting at a time that would be of help to her insisting on staying at a hopefully nearby hotel The writer could offer to take the kids out for specific quality time alone to a park or museum or to any afterschool games clubs or engagements This visit could also include the kids staying overnight for an adventure at the hotel with the grandparents which would give the daughter a much-needed much-welcomed break Another View Dear View Thank you for these suggestions I wholeheartedly agree If it s within the letter-writer s means a hotel stay is a great start More importantly as you pointed out there s an opportunity to relieve specific of the tension in the house by being sensitive to the mother-in-law s situation and asking the daughter what would be most of helpful Dear Eric I read the letter from Conflicted Sibling whose senior citizen brother inevitably leaves a mess when he visits and expects his host to clean up after him I in recent times retired after working multiple years as a professional social worker for the largest federally operated vitality care agency in the U S I had various conversations with consumers of this agency who were older often male and complained that their family siblings offspring etc would not do anything for them They needed the federal agency to fund house cleaning and homemaking for them when the federal agency in our area does not have any such project I have listened to plenty of sob stories about the rotten family members who are not willing to help The truth often is that the family has gotten fed up with the individual s meanness and set a boundary of refusing to be taken advantage of by the person If the writer s refusal to allow the brother to take advantage in such a way ends their relationship it wasn t anything to salvage in the first place Related Articles Harriette Cole Is this how an entry-level job is supposed to feel Miss Manners His driving was terrifying Was I wrong to ask him to slow down Dear Abby It s going to be awkward to tell him he can t sit there Asking Eric Why did nobody stop the high-strung sister from stealing the valuables Harriette Cole Is this a bad reason to homeschool my daughter Best suggestion is to refer the brother to the Area Agency on Aging There is an agency in every state Your letter writer necessities to engage the backbone and say no Been There Dear Been There The Area Agency on Aging is a great deposit Sometimes with family members part of setting a boundary involves saying I need you to be a part of the answer too The letter writer s brother can find assistance and empowerment through the agency Hopefully this helps the letter writer to adjust their dynamic Send questions to R Eric Thomas at eric askingeric com or P O Box Philadelphia PA Follow him on Instagram oueric and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas com